Batey and Mops





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First published by AuthorHouse

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

2009 Carolynn Rayment. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4490-4163-2 (sc)


– 1 –

Buster, Batey and Mops lived in a special place called Lollybags, that

was only known to certain people who knew the secret code to enter the

town. Whoever could break the code would embark on a very exciting

journey…if they dare!

Buster, Batey and Mops were mischievous little children, well, Buster

and Mops were – Batey was a dog. A very naughty dog who would lead

the children astray – they loved it.

One day Mrs Nag-a-lot, Buster and Mops’ Mummy, said, ‘children, we

are expecting a visitor today so stay close by and do not let Batey entice

you away.’

‘Who is coming Mummy’ said Buster. ‘Aunty Nose-a-lot’ she replied.

‘Aunty Nose-a-lot’ he shouted, at the top of his voice. ‘Oh no, we must

stop her from entering the town’  he whispered to the other two.

They didn’t care much for Aunty Nose-a-lot,  she was a sour woman

who did not really have much patience for children…or dogs.

Batey began to bark furiously. He was so scared of Auntie Nose-a-lot,

but thought to himself, he must be brave and help Buster and Mops

think of a plan to stop her coming.

– 2 –

All three stood in a circle holding hands, and paws, wearing their

Brainwave hats.

They were magical hats that helped them when they needed answers to

very important questions.

They started chanting; ‘Nose-a-lot, Nose-a-lot is coming today – we

need a solution to keep her away.’

They chanted for such a long time and nothing seemed to happen.

Mops said, ‘I have an idea.’

‘What is it then’ said Buster. ‘Just tell her we have Chickenpox.’

‘That won’t stop her’ barked Batey – ‘she would risk catching anything

to come to Lollybags and annoy us.’

All of a sudden the Brainwave hats began to shake. Buster said, ‘hold

tight, otherwise we may be launched into space.’ Batey thought to himself,

oh goody, how naughty could I be in Space. Buster always knew what

Batey was thinking and said, ‘No Batey, that’s not a good idea, hold on

for your life and keep concentrating.’

– 3 –

The circle began to rotate faster and faster, and the chanting was

louder and louder. They were so dizzy that steam was pouring out of

their Brainwave hats.

All of a sudden there was an almighty BANG! They all fell to the floor

– their heads were spinning, they were dazed and bemused and feeling

quite sick.

Mops looked up first as she was always the inquisitive one. To her

amazement in front of her stood Graymatter, the wise old Wizard from

Help-u-lots,  the castle on the hill.

‘B b b Buster, B b b Batey, look up, look up, the old Wizard is here from

the castle on the hill.’  ‘Stop telling lies’ said Buster, ‘he would never

come to help children like us’ – ‘yes, he is here’ roared Mops.

Buster and Batey still with their heads in their hands, and paws, not

brave enough to look up were quivering all over and wished they were

at home with Mummy-Nag-a-lot.

Finally, Batey thought, gosh I am hungry I am not going to keep my head

in my paws any longer – I’ll go home now for my supper.

– 4 –

At the same time Buster and Batey looked up. Aaaa! They screamed, it

really is Graymatter  the wise old Wizard.

‘Don’t be afraid, I am here to help you. If you want to stop Aunty Nose- a-

lot from visiting today you must do as I say.’  All three said at the same

time, ‘ok Graymatter  what do we have to do?’

‘There is an old house in the town of  Nuggets  called  Grapple

Cottage,  hidden somewhere is an Umkinbrella.’  ‘umkin what’ cried

Buster. ‘Umkinbrella y dear boy’ retorted Graymatter – ‘Oh an

Umkinbrella’  as if he knew what it was.

He whispered to Mops and Batey, ‘do you know what he’s talking about?’

Of course they did not know – how could they?

All of a sudden without warning Graymatter began to talk in riddles.



Then… disappeared.

– 5 –

‘Brainwave hats on please’ Buster yelled – ‘it’s our only hope.’

They nervously donned their hats and stood in a circle, chanting.



Pushions and Oo-ops, what can they be? Green slime and Goo.

The three of them were thinking very hard, when Batey suddenly jumped

high in the air barking for attention.

‘Be quiet Batey, we are trying to concentrate’ shouted Mops.

Ignoring them he carried on barking until he was hoarse – he sounded

like a dog with a sore throat!

Buster quickly realised that Batey had cracked the riddle. ‘Go on then

Batey, tell us.’

Oof oof, he was trying desperately to bark, but nothing came out – he

had barked himself silent.

– 6 –

After a rest and with time running out, Batey could finally bark. Woof

woof – ‘sounds good to me’ said Buster, ‘tell us now.’

PUSHIONS and OO-ops green slime and GOO spell …CELLAR!

‘No it doesn’t you daft mongrel’ chirped Buster and Mops.

‘Oh yes it does in doggy language barked Batey.’

‘It doesn’t make any sense, are you sure Batey?’ ‘Don’t you trust this

long-eared, doe eyed wimple hound that has been by your side since you

were born?’ ‘No we don’t – remembering all the other occasions when

Batey had led them astray and got them into trouble with Mummy Nag-a-

lot. But, they had no other choice.

‘The cellar’ cried Buster, the cellar in Grapple Cottage – that’s where

the Umkinbrella must be.’

With no time to waste – they embarked on their very important and

scary journey, to try to find the key to the riddle to stop Aunty Nose-a-lot

from coming to Lollybags.

– 7 –

They gingerly arrived at the cottage. Batey was shaking like a leaf, he

was terrified and didn’t know what to expect. Buster had a sudden onset

of ‘’windy bottom’’ as he was scared too.

Mops was extremely brave – after all, she was always the inquisitive


Fortunately, the cottage door was open. Old Mrs Grapple who lived

there was very forgetful and always left it open.

Mops took the first step inside, then Buster – whilst Batey had taken off

and was charging down the road. ‘Come back Batey they roared, we are

in this together.’

He turned around still shaking and reluctantly came back with his tail

between his legs. All Batey could think of was a nice bowl of minced

beef and a roaring log fire.

Inside, they entered a time warp – everything had frozen in time for

Mrs Grapple – must be to do with the Umkinbrella in the cellar they


Where was the cellar anyway? It wasn’t in the place you would expect it

to be – it was hidden somewhere.

– 8 –

They mooched around looking under carpets and rugs. Batey was sniffing

with that ‘’doggy’’ nose then began to bark and wag his tail.

‘What have you found’ yelped Buster, ‘it’s here under this large and heavy

urn.’  How are we going to move it, they thought. As they were thinking

of a way to move the urn – suddenly, without any warning it began to

move all by itself. Batey was off again! ‘Come back you wimple hound

you can’t leave us now.’ All Batey wished for was a wholesome meal and

a quiet night at home!


Before their very eyes, there it was – the open cellar – with the key

to the Umkinbrella.  Buster clambered down the steep steps first.

‘Come on you two we don’t have much time.’  Mops and Batey followed


They looked around searching in every nook and cranny, but nothing

was found.

– 9 –

‘It’s time for Brainwave hats’ shouted Buster. It’s a good job I thought

of bringing them thought Batey. ‘Excuse me you wimple hound, it was

my idea, someone has to have a brain round here’. Batey sometimes

forgot that Buster could read his thoughts.

They donned their hats once again and joined hands to complete a

circle, and chanted…


THE KEY TO THE RIDDLE.…before they could go any further the

cellar lit up like a magnificent firework display – beautiful colours and

enormous sounds were echoed all around.

They were all enchanted by the sheer beauty and thought they had been

spirited to another planet.

Still agog, they rubbed their eyes and pinched themselves to make sure

it wasn’t their imagination of what they had just seen. Then, in front of

their blurry eyes – Graymatter appeared. ‘Well, children…and dog,

you have earned a merit for finding the cellar.’  ‘Well done.’

– 10 –

Batey was becoming impatient – he was now famished and couldn’t

think of anything other than food. Woof woof – I don’t care about

Umkinbrellas’ or Auntie Nose-a-lot  – I want my supper’.’ Batey’ Mops

piped up ‘stop that behaviour, don’t be rude to Graymatter, otherwise

you can entertain Auntie Nose-a-lot all by yourself’.’  That horrible thought

focused him once more.

Look in the cellar, look in the cellar – if you search hard there you will find

the Umkinbrella.  ‘Who said that?’ Barked Batey. The terrified hound

was half way up the steep cellar stairs! ‘Come back Batey you wimple

hound’ – roared Buster. The voice was a mystery, but they didn’t seem to

mind, all they wanted was to find the Umkinbrella.

Hidden in the word lies the answer for you – sup it down to reveal the



– 11 –

They all tried to scramble the words in Umkinbrella to break the

code. Batey barks…BUM! ‘No Batey, you can’t drink that, nor can you

drink any of the other words.’ Sup it down, it’s something to drink.

Mops suddenly jumps for joy – ‘I’ve got it’.’ What, what, don’t keep it to

yourself’…..’MILK! ‘And look, here it is.’

Perched on an old and dusty table was a bottle of milk. ‘Who drinks it,

US, or HER?’

Graymatter  appeared from nowhere. ‘Children, and Batey you have

broken it down – give it to Nose-a-lot so she can’t enter the town.’

‘How can we thank you Graymatter?’

‘Remember one thing – don’t ever forget, be kind and honest and never

neglect the people who care and love you a lot; all bar…………Auntie


– 12 –

So excited they ran as fast as they could to get to the border of the

town before Auntie Nose-a-lot arrived. As they approached they could

see Auntie Nose-a-lot just about to key in the code on the large Iron

Gate which would automatically open it. ‘STOP!’ shouted Buster. ‘Hello

Auntie, we have brought you some refreshment, you must be so thirsty

after your long journey?’ ‘Here, sup it all up.’  The three of them were

stiff with terror; holding their breath waiting for her to finish the milk.

Auntie Nose-a-lot said ‘why are you being so nice to me, you half pints’

‘we are just being kind…tee hee! ‘Well, I am rather thirsty, so here we

go…GLUMP, GLUMP…’Aah that’s better’ she said wiping her mean

and skinny lips.

With that – she suddenly turned around and began to walk in the opposite

direction of Lollybags They couldn’t believe it –what has the milk

done to her they thought.

– 13 –

Graymatter appeared for the last time with the answer. ‘The magic

milk won’t allow her to remember the code, in fact, she won’t remember

any of this. The milk has a secret ingredient that will turn this sour

woman into a fun-loving Auntie, instead of a grumpy witch. ‘The next

time she visits Lollybags she will be pleasant to you’…’and me’ barks

Batey. ‘Yes, even you’ said ’ Graymatter the Wizard from the castle on

the hill, and then disappeared.

‘Come on Mops and Batey – time to go home’ Buster said wearily.

When they arrived home very hungry and tired. Mummy Nag-a-lot

said ‘Auntie Nose-a-lot didn’t arrive today children’ they all said at the

same time, ‘maybe she stopped off en route for a sup of milk and will

arrive later.’  ‘Yes, children – I’m sure that’s what she did.’

The three of them were giggling hysterically. Mummy

Nag-a-lot thought to herself….they have found the Umkinbrella

Thank goodness.