Batey and Mops
CA R O L Y N N R A Y M E N T
AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.
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Central Milton Keynes, MK9 2BE
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First published by AuthorHouse
Printed in the United States of America
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
2009 Carolynn Rayment. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-4163-2 (sc)
– 1 –
Buster, Batey and Mops lived in a special place called Lollybags, that
was only known to certain people who knew the secret code to enter the
town. Whoever could break the code would embark on a very exciting
journey…if they dare!
Buster, Batey and Mops were mischievous little children, well, Buster
and Mops were – Batey was a dog. A very naughty dog who would lead
the children astray – they loved it.
One day Mrs Nag-a-lot, Buster and Mops’ Mummy, said, ‘children, we
are expecting a visitor today so stay close by and do not let Batey entice
‘Who is coming Mummy’ said Buster. ‘Aunty Nose-a-lot’ she replied.
‘Aunty Nose-a-lot’ he shouted, at the top of his voice. ‘Oh no, we must
stop her from entering the town’ he whispered to the other two.
They didn’t care much for Aunty Nose-a-lot, she was a sour woman
who did not really have much patience for children…or dogs.
Batey began to bark furiously. He was so scared of Auntie Nose-a-lot,
but thought to himself, he must be brave and help Buster and Mops
think of a plan to stop her coming.
– 2 –
All three stood in a circle holding hands, and paws, wearing their
They were magical hats that helped them when they needed answers to
very important questions.
They started chanting; ‘Nose-a-lot, Nose-a-lot is coming today – we
need a solution to keep her away.’
They chanted for such a long time and nothing seemed to happen.
Mops said, ‘I have an idea.’
‘What is it then’ said Buster. ‘Just tell her we have Chickenpox.’
‘That won’t stop her’ barked Batey – ‘she would risk catching anything
to come to Lollybags and annoy us.’
All of a sudden the Brainwave hats began to shake. Buster said, ‘hold
tight, otherwise we may be launched into space.’ Batey thought to himself,
oh goody, how naughty could I be in Space. Buster always knew what
Batey was thinking and said, ‘No Batey, that’s not a good idea, hold on
for your life and keep concentrating.’
– 3 –
The circle began to rotate faster and faster, and the chanting was
louder and louder. They were so dizzy that steam was pouring out of
their Brainwave hats.
All of a sudden there was an almighty BANG! They all fell to the floor
– their heads were spinning, they were dazed and bemused and feeling
Mops looked up first as she was always the inquisitive one. To her
amazement in front of her stood Graymatter, the wise old Wizard from
Help-u-lots, the castle on the hill.
‘B b b Buster, B b b Batey, look up, look up, the old Wizard is here from
the castle on the hill.’ ‘Stop telling lies’ said Buster, ‘he would never
come to help children like us’ – ‘yes, he is here’ roared Mops.
Buster and Batey still with their heads in their hands, and paws, not
brave enough to look up were quivering all over and wished they were
at home with Mummy-Nag-a-lot.
Finally, Batey thought, gosh I am hungry I am not going to keep my head
in my paws any longer – I’ll go home now for my supper.
– 4 –
At the same time Buster and Batey looked up. Aaaa! They screamed, it
really is Graymatter the wise old Wizard.
‘Don’t be afraid, I am here to help you. If you want to stop Aunty Nose- a-
lot from visiting today you must do as I say.’ All three said at the same
time, ‘ok Graymatter what do we have to do?’
‘There is an old house in the town of Nuggets called Grapple
Cottage, hidden somewhere is an Umkinbrella.’ ‘umkin what’ cried
Buster. ‘Umkinbrella y dear boy’ retorted Graymatter – ‘Oh an
Umkinbrella’ as if he knew what it was.
He whispered to Mops and Batey, ‘do you know what he’s talking about?’
Of course they did not know – how could they?
All of a sudden without warning Graymatter began to talk in riddles.
‘PUSHIONS AND OO-OPS GREEN SLIME AND GOO THE KEY TO
THE RIDDLE ISN’T TOO FAR FROM YOU.’
– 5 –
‘Brainwave hats on please’ Buster yelled – ‘it’s our only hope.’
They nervously donned their hats and stood in a circle, chanting.
‘PUSHIONS AND OO-OPS GREEEN SLIME AND GOO THE KEY TO
THE RIDDLE ISN’T TOO FAR FROM YOU.’
Pushions and Oo-ops, what can they be? Green slime and Goo.
The three of them were thinking very hard, when Batey suddenly jumped
high in the air barking for attention.
‘Be quiet Batey, we are trying to concentrate’ shouted Mops.
Ignoring them he carried on barking until he was hoarse – he sounded
like a dog with a sore throat!
Buster quickly realised that Batey had cracked the riddle. ‘Go on then
Batey, tell us.’
Oof oof, he was trying desperately to bark, but nothing came out – he
had barked himself silent.
– 6 –
After a rest and with time running out, Batey could finally bark. Woof
woof – ‘sounds good to me’ said Buster, ‘tell us now.’
PUSHIONS and OO-ops green slime and GOO spell …CELLAR!
‘No it doesn’t you daft mongrel’ chirped Buster and Mops.
‘Oh yes it does in doggy language barked Batey.’
‘It doesn’t make any sense, are you sure Batey?’ ‘Don’t you trust this
long-eared, doe eyed wimple hound that has been by your side since you
were born?’ ‘No we don’t – remembering all the other occasions when
Batey had led them astray and got them into trouble with Mummy Nag-a-
lot. But, they had no other choice.
‘The cellar’ cried Buster, the cellar in Grapple Cottage – that’s where
the Umkinbrella must be.’
With no time to waste – they embarked on their very important and
scary journey, to try to find the key to the riddle to stop Aunty Nose-a-lot
from coming to Lollybags.
– 7 –
They gingerly arrived at the cottage. Batey was shaking like a leaf, he
was terrified and didn’t know what to expect. Buster had a sudden onset
of ‘’windy bottom’’ as he was scared too.
Mops was extremely brave – after all, she was always the inquisitive
Fortunately, the cottage door was open. Old Mrs Grapple who lived
there was very forgetful and always left it open.
Mops took the first step inside, then Buster – whilst Batey had taken off
and was charging down the road. ‘Come back Batey they roared, we are
in this together.’
He turned around still shaking and reluctantly came back with his tail
between his legs. All Batey could think of was a nice bowl of minced
beef and a roaring log fire.
Inside, they entered a time warp – everything had frozen in time for
Mrs Grapple – must be to do with the Umkinbrella in the cellar they
Where was the cellar anyway? It wasn’t in the place you would expect it
to be – it was hidden somewhere.
– 8 –
They mooched around looking under carpets and rugs. Batey was sniffing
with that ‘’doggy’’ nose then began to bark and wag his tail.
‘What have you found’ yelped Buster, ‘it’s here under this large and heavy
urn.’ How are we going to move it, they thought. As they were thinking
of a way to move the urn – suddenly, without any warning it began to
move all by itself. Batey was off again! ‘Come back you wimple hound
you can’t leave us now.’ All Batey wished for was a wholesome meal and
a quiet night at home!
CREAK! CRANK! PLONK!…OPEN SESAME.
Before their very eyes, there it was – the open cellar – with the key
to the Umkinbrella. Buster clambered down the steep steps first.
‘Come on you two we don’t have much time.’ Mops and Batey followed
They looked around searching in every nook and cranny, but nothing
– 9 –
‘It’s time for Brainwave hats’ shouted Buster. It’s a good job I thought
of bringing them thought Batey. ‘Excuse me you wimple hound, it was
my idea, someone has to have a brain round here’. Batey sometimes
forgot that Buster could read his thoughts.
They donned their hats once again and joined hands to complete a
circle, and chanted…
PUSHIONS AND OO-OPS GREEN SLIME AND GOO
THE KEY TO THE RIDDLE.…before they could go any further the
cellar lit up like a magnificent firework display – beautiful colours and
enormous sounds were echoed all around.
They were all enchanted by the sheer beauty and thought they had been
spirited to another planet.
Still agog, they rubbed their eyes and pinched themselves to make sure
it wasn’t their imagination of what they had just seen. Then, in front of
their blurry eyes – Graymatter appeared. ‘Well, children…and dog,
you have earned a merit for finding the cellar.’ ‘Well done.’
– 10 –
Batey was becoming impatient – he was now famished and couldn’t
think of anything other than food. Woof woof – I don’t care about
Umkinbrellas’ or Auntie Nose-a-lot – I want my supper’.’ Batey’ Mops
piped up ‘stop that behaviour, don’t be rude to Graymatter, otherwise
you can entertain Auntie Nose-a-lot all by yourself’.’ That horrible thought
focused him once more.
Look in the cellar, look in the cellar – if you search hard there you will find
the Umkinbrella. ‘Who said that?’ Barked Batey. The terrified hound
was half way up the steep cellar stairs! ‘Come back Batey you wimple
hound’ – roared Buster. The voice was a mystery, but they didn’t seem to
mind, all they wanted was to find the Umkinbrella.
Hidden in the word lies the answer for you – sup it down to reveal the
UMKINBRELLA – KIN – INK – BALL – BIN –
– 11 –
They all tried to scramble the words in Umkinbrella to break the
code. Batey barks…BUM! ‘No Batey, you can’t drink that, nor can you
drink any of the other words.’ Sup it down, it’s something to drink.
Mops suddenly jumps for joy – ‘I’ve got it’.’ What, what, don’t keep it to
yourself’…..’MILK! ‘And look, here it is.’
Perched on an old and dusty table was a bottle of milk. ‘Who drinks it,
US, or HER?’
Graymatter appeared from nowhere. ‘Children, and Batey you have
broken it down – give it to Nose-a-lot so she can’t enter the town.’
‘How can we thank you Graymatter?’
‘Remember one thing – don’t ever forget, be kind and honest and never
neglect the people who care and love you a lot; all bar…………Auntie
– 12 –
So excited they ran as fast as they could to get to the border of the
town before Auntie Nose-a-lot arrived. As they approached they could
see Auntie Nose-a-lot just about to key in the code on the large Iron
Gate which would automatically open it. ‘STOP!’ shouted Buster. ‘Hello
Auntie, we have brought you some refreshment, you must be so thirsty
after your long journey?’ ‘Here, sup it all up.’ The three of them were
stiff with terror; holding their breath waiting for her to finish the milk.
Auntie Nose-a-lot said ‘why are you being so nice to me, you half pints’
‘we are just being kind…tee hee! ‘Well, I am rather thirsty, so here we
go…GLUMP, GLUMP…’Aah that’s better’ she said wiping her mean
and skinny lips.
With that – she suddenly turned around and began to walk in the opposite
direction of Lollybags They couldn’t believe it –what has the milk
done to her they thought.
– 13 –
Graymatter appeared for the last time with the answer. ‘The magic
milk won’t allow her to remember the code, in fact, she won’t remember
any of this. The milk has a secret ingredient that will turn this sour
woman into a fun-loving Auntie, instead of a grumpy witch. ‘The next
time she visits Lollybags she will be pleasant to you’…’and me’ barks
Batey. ‘Yes, even you’ said ’ Graymatter the Wizard from the castle on
the hill, and then disappeared.
‘Come on Mops and Batey – time to go home’ Buster said wearily.
When they arrived home very hungry and tired. Mummy Nag-a-lot
said ‘Auntie Nose-a-lot didn’t arrive today children’ they all said at the
same time, ‘maybe she stopped off en route for a sup of milk and will
arrive later.’ ‘Yes, children – I’m sure that’s what she did.’
The three of them were giggling hysterically. Mummy
Nag-a-lot thought to herself….they have found the Umkinbrella